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Vibrant Life Testimonial
Sent: Friday, January 10, 2003 12:37 PM
To: 'email@example.com '
Just read "Do you Have a Right to Die?" A valuable, detailed revelation. Thank you.
What a shame...we moderns usually acquire good educations about the 3 Rs...learn a bit about life and love and birth and getting old...we see and experience it nearly everywhere. But nothing is normally taught about the details of death; not even in church.
My mother died in May '92, of metastasized breast cancer, age 76. I worked for one of the large aerospace companies at Kennedy Space Center, and had built up quite a bit of sick leave and vacation. As an only child, and divorced, I spent 6 days a week with her in Sebring Florida, for the 5 weeks it took for her to go. The most difficult part for me was not knowing if she was going to die.
I offered to find her an apartment close to my home in the Cocoa area, and be close to help. She refused, asking me to find an assisted-living home in Sebring; which I did. But she was hospitalized with plural-cavity fluid retention for a week before dying. Cancer had spread to most of her internal organs. The doctor was kind and competent, but relatively uncommunicative about whether she had widespread cancer and whether she would die. And I wasn't experienced or wise enough to ask the right questions.
She had smoked all her life. Five years before, she was diagnosed and surgically / radiationally treated for cancer of the left breast. She quit smoking, and didn't smoke until the fourth annual check-up, and getting a good bill of health, started back with cigarettes. She would have agreed with you...she said the radiation caused more long-term damage than help...setting the stage for return of the cancer.
A prime symptom of her condition was lung cancer, although not diagnosed as such. She had a long-time history of deep hacking cough. The last few months the cough got deeper and sounded more ominous.
For the last couple years of her life I developed sleep apneia...or that's what the doctors call it. Several times I awakened totally out of breath; apparently stopped breathing for some un-natural period. One of the last attacks seemed nearly fatal.
The night she died, I left the hospital about 9pm. We had quarreled...she saying I didn't want her to live near me...to which I argued, with truth, was not true. I went to sleep at her house and awakened about midnight with a severe attack of apneia. I felt she was there and that my sensation was in response to her severe lung / breathing problem. I felt virtually engulfed by her presence; that I was feeling her terrible discomfort in not being able to breathe. In about half an hour I was called by the hospital to be told she had died. I never again had an attack of apneia.
One of your items in the article points out the dying need to be assured their life was good and worthwhile (so they can leave in peace). The night before being hospitalized, she told me she was very proud I had made it
through college and lived a good, productive life (as an engineer). I told
her I could never have done it without her financial and moral support. That seemed to have a quietly profound effect on her attitude...an almost undefinable, un-noticeable peace seemed to enter her spirit.
Your message is very accurate, insightful, and greatly needed by everybody. The dying is perhaps the most important (at least most difficult), closing chapter of a person's life. I don't know anyone capable of providing understanding, and performing in selfless wisom, as your guidance proposes.
Bless you for assembling and printing it.
Raymond B., Merritt Island, Florida
Thank you very much for such a personal story.
As you know my wife and I went through this as a true and personal experience. I'm glad our experience could be put into words for you and others.
There was much more that happened at death -- that I did not write about, but I have on another page. I suspect you would find this interesting also. CLICK HERE for the story about how we put down our 19 year old dog, Chester. You'll realize that all that happened with our dog also happened with both my mother and my mother-in-law, at their deaths.
It is very comforting to know all this truth, with such certainty.
I've published your story, and my response, without your name and address, here:
http://www.oralchelation.com/testimonial/test49.htm If that is not OK? Let me know. If you are willing to have your name? or your name and eMail address? -- let me know, I'll add them.
Permission granted for the above name.
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